Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
