I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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