Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
