I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
