When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
