Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize