is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
