What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
