We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
