You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
