So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
