Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
