Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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