She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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