there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
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