From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
