yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
