he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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