My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
