I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
