Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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