they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
