I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My breasts were aching with rage.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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