k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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