Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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