i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
