girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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