I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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