So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
