I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
