Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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