It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
