Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
