Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
