the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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