but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
