Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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