Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
being pregnant is like rehab
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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