He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
