He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
