my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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