Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
