sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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