I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
