whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Less talking, more tequila
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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