Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
