I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
