i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize