Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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