I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize