it wasn't lemon gatorade
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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