So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
