ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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