Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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