shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
