So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
