Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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