I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
