you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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