Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
