We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
