I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Randomize
